i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
