The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
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my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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