I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
