She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize