As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
