Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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