if you like me you must not know who I am
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
