I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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