how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
