he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
