Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
