Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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