i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
