ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize