Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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