And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You are the jesus of drinking
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
