you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
