And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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