You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
