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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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