I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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