8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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