How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
