best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
