Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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