I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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