If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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