Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she told me i tasted like america
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
