Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
