i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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