I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize