It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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