i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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