woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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