I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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