Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
