I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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