69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
