Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
