:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
