I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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