i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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