this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
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And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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