she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
