if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize