i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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