He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just invented taco cereal.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
