he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
