O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
