My liver just broke up with me...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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