dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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