good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
