All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can I color on your dick again?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
