So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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