I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
