I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
