Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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