the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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